MEMORIAL DAY 2012

    My Dad served in the Army during WWII.  He entered the military on July 21, 1942 and returned to the United States on November 3, 1945.  During his deployment, he fought as an infantryman in North Africa, Southern France, Italy, and Germany.  He loved the service and was honored to fight for freedom.  He earned the Bronze Star Medal and several other medals of distinction during his time in the Army.
    He told us all about his adventures in various countries and about the rain, cold and being wrapped close to his buddies for warmth in a foxhole for many nights during his service.  I think that these experiences helped to shape him into the great man of character and the great father that he was to his children.
    The most tender story he ever told....one that always brought tears to his eyes even well into his eighties was when the ship he was on back to the US docked in New York and he looked out over the crowd below and there to greet him was his Dad, all the way from Erie, PA.  He never forgot that emotional feeling and that grand arrival back onto American soil.  I even shed a tear just remembering his emotional reaction as he shared this story that I heard on many occassions during my life.
    He is celebrating Memorial Day in Heaven tomorrow just like many of his fellow soilders from WWII.  I will never forget his amazing stories and how honored he was to be an American.
    On Memorial Day we honor those members of our military who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country's freedom and those serving in all branches of the service for the United States of America. God Bless You, and God Bless America!

Changing Roles...Men as Caregivers

With an increasing number of women over 65 that have been diagnosed with some form of dementia or other debilitating disease, it has been the men in our lives who have had to step up as senior citizens themselves, and learn how to become the nurturers perhaps for the first time in their adult lives.

To many men this is very hard and challenging, but they are embracing the role proudly and doing it because of love.  This person, who no longer is able to do things for herself, is most likely the spouse they married 60+ years ago, and they refuse to abandon her in a time of need.

They are taking over the everyday duties of fixing the meals, doing the laundry, giving the meds, dressing their loved one, giving baths and showers, and making sure that all of the doctor appointments are made and kept.

Men tend to seek help from others sources and family members when they are in a bind, whereas women generally take on the caregiving duties alone rather than burden someone else.  This is an A+ for the men.

While the men as caregivers do have emotional reactions and feel the great loss just like the women, they keep trying to fix things rather than giving up and into their emotions. 

To most, serving as a caregiver was never a question.

Scams that target the Elderly

Scams, frauds and other financial exploitation schemes are targeting elderly Americans.  Strangers can often get to the confused or disabled through telemarketing and Internet-based scams.  But....the scammers do not have to be strangers.  Many of the elderly are exploited and betrayed by their own family members or trusted advisers.  Most of the time very few of the crimes are reported as the elderly are embarrassed that they have been hoodwinked by these unethical people. A report last year by MetLife Inc. estimated the annual loss by victims of elder financial abuse at $2.9 billion.

Please read the attached article for more information and tips for your loved one so they will not fall prey to scams:

 eldercarematters.com

Today's Elder Care Article on ElderCareMatters.com: "Keeping Our Seniors Safe From Scams"

The Healing Power of Music

Oh the fond memories I have of playing easy listening music, the blues, and most of all, Big Band music for my Dad.  All of a sudden out of nowhere, the mind that no longer had the quickness of yesterday, came alive and remembered perfectly the tunes and words of each number he heard.  We would sing and laugh, and I would "chair dance" with him to try to give him back his days when he was out there on the dance floor with my Mom or some other girlfriend from the past, reliving his heyday and jamming to the music.   
Little did he know that it was me who enjoyed it the most as it made my heart soar to once again get my Daddy back though just for a small moment.
When trying to relieve anxiety, pain, improve a mood, or even sharpen the memory, music can be a wonderful tool to use to organize and bring back your loved one's sense of identity.  It helps them to sing, come alive and restore themselves to the love, romance, and memories of yesteryear.
Please look at the attached video/article.  It shows just what I mean.
Enjoy.
http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/04/11/alzheimers-patient-awakens-when-listening-to-music-from-his-past/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter&goback=%2Eanp_2230667_1337182208246_1

Is Your Loved One Dangerous Behind the Wheel?

How do you feel about your elderly parent or loved one still driving?  What is your responsibility if they are in a wreck and hurt or kill someone when you know that they are cognitively impaired and that their driving skills are not what they should be.... and you have done nothing to stop them?

Taking someones keys also means taking their "independence".  Freedom to go here and there is often what keeps the elderly enjoying life, and that is not willingly given up by most.  Believe me, I have been there and I was the "bad guy" that took the keys.

Perhaps you could take a ride with them and observe their driving first hand.  Are they aware of all surroundings and what kind of reaction time do they exhibit?  Do they follow directions or are they getting lost?  What kind of medications are they taking that cloud their judgement?  Do they follow the speed limits?

Later have a patient and positive discussion with them about your concern for their safety and the safety of others.  They will agree that they do not want to put themselves or others in harms way, but..... And that "but" means that it will not be an issue that you will discuss only one time before you can make them comfortable with the decision. 

Growing older doesn't automatically mean that you will be a terrible driver, but there are changes in your mind and body which do affect driving.  Have your loved one take a senior safety class or enlist the help of other family members and a physician.

By the same token, don't be afraid to be the one to take the keys!



Twelve Steps for Caregivers

Today's blog comes from The American Journal of Alzheimer's Care and Related Disorders and Research, Nov/Dec 1989.  Though written years ago, the principles are still very much on target for those who are caregivers today.  Please enjoy and put to good use the information shared below.  Blessings to you and yours.

Twelve Steps for Caregivers

1. Although I cannot control the disease process, I need to remember I can control many aspects of how it affects my relative.

2. I need to take care of myself so that I can continue doing the things that are most important.

3. I need to simplify my lifestyle so that my time and energy are available for things that are really important at this time.

4. I need to cultivate the gift of allowing others to help me, because caring for my relative is too big a job to be done by one person.

5. I need to take one day at a time rather than worry about what may or may not happen in the future.
6. I need to structure my day because a consistent schedule makes life easier for me and my relative.
7. I need to have a sense of humor because laughter helps to put things in a more positive perspective.
8. I need to remember that my relative is not being difficult on purpose; rather that his/her behavior and emotions are distorted by the illness.
9. I need to focus on and enjoy what my relative can still do rather than constantly lament over what is gone.
10. I need to increasingly depend upon other relationships for love and support.
11. I need to frequently remind myself that I am doing the best that I can at this very moment.
12. I need to draw upon the Higher Power, which I believe is available to me.

Do you belong to a Caregiver Support Group?

Everyone Needs Someone....   

                                    Grace is God's favor unearned

                                          Grace is God's mercy undeserved

                                                       Grace is God's compassion boundless

                                                      Grace is God's gift wondrous

Last night was my monthly Alzheimer's Support Group meeting.  Even though my loved one has passed away and I am not a caregiver for anyone at the moment, I still depend on my support group to help me through my grieving process.  Plus, it gives me the connection with the other group members, who have become like family to me, and who are still going through the things that I have already experienced.

Have you joined a group where you can talk to other individuals who are experiencing similar issues?  It can be very helpful to learn from each other, talk about the adventures and heartaches of being a caregiver, and gain strength and courage from others who may offer encouragement, provide a safe and nurturing environment, and troubleshoot with you to find solutions to any questions or problems you are having.

Please check out your local support groups until you find one that meets your particular needs. Just an hour or two a month can help to give you a whole new perspective and give you a respite from the daily caregiving responsibilities. 

It will make a difference!